In 2013 I was ready to get married again. With an engagement ring picked out and the proposal all planned, I honestly felt it was time to tie the knot. But there was one problem – it wasn’t Melissa – it wasn’t my ‘one’. So what stopped me in the final hour? Just one sentence…
- Venture Deals by Brad Felds and Jason Mendelson
- The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida
- Conversations With Good (Book 1) by Neale Donald Walsch
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Welcome back to Broad New World. I’m your host, Nick Broadhurst. You can catch all of my music; my music videos and everything that I do at www.broadhurst.world, and my music, if you listen to Spotify, you can catch that on broadhurst.world/Spotify which will take you straight to my artist profile.
And of course, you can listen to my music everywhere that you listen to music, including iTunes. So that song you were listening to is a remix of my very first single called Little Lover, and the remix is by an artist called Ether Glow, and you can catch that at broadhurst.world/littlelover.
So, today I’m going to tell you a bit of a story and it’s a deeply personal story, as are all my stories that I tell on Broad New World, but this one is about a sentence that changed my life. And it all started back in 2009 when I just separated from my first wife, and this experience was incredibly stressful. It was so stressful that my nervous system just literally could not take the stress; and the stress just created an opening for something in my body to proliferate out of control.
I remember waiting in the emergency room at the local hospital in my pajamas and my UGG boots. I was in so much pain; I was shaking and literally just hanging on for dear life. And the staff in the emergency room seriously thought that I was a junky, and so they just ignored me because the pajamas I was wearing were added as track pants which is what the junkies tend to wear, and here I was looking exactly like that.
And they continued to ignore me for about two hours until I literally just passed out from the pain, and I don’t know how long or how many hours passed, but I woke up in intensive care and I was surrounded by about 15 staff and a female, a doctor, who was whispering in my ear, “Don’t’ be alarmed, but we think you’ve had a brain aneurysm.”
Now, as you can imagine, waking up with that around you and being told that, is pretty hard not to be alarmed, but I was in so much pain. I was literally begging for them to put me to sleep, literally, I’m not joking. I almost wanted to die in that moment, I was in so much pain.
And so they gave me morphine and they warned me that the morphine was going to hurt initially because of the swelling in my brain, and so they injected it, and the morphine rushes to my swollen brain and literally, I thought my head was going to pop and explode off my neck. It was excruciating; I don’t why I’m laughing. And then in a flash I was literally in heaven.
So it turned out that I actually had meningitis and I clearly, at that time, I didn’t know anything about body types. And if you haven’t heard my Ayurveda series one, head to Broadhurst.world/22 to hear my episode on the vata ectomorph body type. Up until then I totally thought I was invincible and if I knew what I know now, I would’ve done things very, very differently.
But what unfolded for me beyond that was three years of physical pain and constant mystery diagnosis like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome; it was a really, really tough time for me. And I couldn’t work. I literally went three years without working and healing became my full time job. And thank God though because about a few months after my separation, I quickly fell in love with a woman who literally saved Leo and I. I was in all sorts and she saved me.
And in fact my next song, Thank You, is actually about this amazing woman. It’s a song that I wrote when I was in intense state of gratitude for her, and I’ve just finished performing that in the Open Wide tour. It’s really… it’s a lot of fun. I can’t wait for you to hear it.
So, we were three and a half years into a really good relationship, and there was love in there for sure; it all seemed pretty perfect by most standards, so I did what I thought I should do, which was to buy an engagement ring and start planning the rest of our lives together.
And I was literally just a few weeks away from proposing when a surf trip to the Mentawai in Indonesia comes up. So, I spent two weeks on a boat in the middle of nowhere, with absolutely no technology and no way of communicating with anybody outside of the boat. It was just me, some mates, some beautiful waves, islands and three books.
I had one book on business, which was called Venture Deals by Brad Feld, I had one book on masculinity, The way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and one book on spirituality, Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch. So, I started with Venture Deals because I was wanting to learn how to raise some venture capital for a magazine that I’d created which was called Aspire, and it had been in the top 5 business magazines in iTunes and it was ready to go to a whole new level.
And then I finished that and then got into the business of reclaiming my masculinity, and I knew I was definitely not nailing this at all in this relationship, and I had a lot to learn. And I’d actually tried reading this before in 2008, but honestly, I just thought it was absolute BS. I clearly was not ready for it and finally, with nothing left to do, but read, surf and eat, I turned to Conversations with God, and I only had two days left on the boat.
Now, the whole time I could sense that something was shifting between myself and this woman, my girlfriend at the time. And even though we couldn’t talk, I could feel the distance between us was all of a sudden not just geographical, and it really freaked me out. It brought up all sorts of insecurities, all sorts of fears, and then I’m reading Conversations with God and that sentence comes to me, the one sentence that changed everything; and technically it’s a paragraph, but ‘sentence’ sounds better.
And this is what it says, “Let your love propel your beloveds into the world and into the full experience of who they are in. In this, you will have truly loved.” I’ll let you sit with that for a second. “Let your love propel your beloveds into the world and into the full experience of who they are. In this, you will have truly loved.”
So in that instant I knew I had to let her go. I knew that she was going to grow way more outside of our relationship, and deep down I knew that I was going to grow a lot more outside of this relationship, even though it was perfectly good, but it was also perfectly safe.
So, when I get off the boat and come back to Australia mysteriously, magically, universally, we had somehow both arrived at the same conclusion without having spoken any words to each other for two weeks. And literally, both of us knowing we’re very close to being engaged, we go from perfectly happy to perfectly ready to let go of what we had.
Now, that sentence can mean totally different things for everyone and different things in different situations, and for me now with Melissa, for example, that translates into my love being a fuel and a passion that drives me to support her in all ways in her life. And in that, I propel her more into the world so that I am a contributor to her fully experiencing more of who she really is.
And equally, this applies to my love for myself. It’s my love for me which has propelled me and my music into the world, it is my live for myself that sees me doing this podcast which in turn, is love for you, which hopefully propels you into the world.
So my little mission for you today is to sit with this sentence, “Let your love propel your beloveds into the world and into the full experience of who they are. In this, you will have truly loved.”
So, you can get all the show notes for this episode and links to all those books at broadhurst.world/30, and you can also get a full transcript of the show, if you prefer to read. And please do head into iTunes. I would be beyond grateful if you could leave me a 5 star review; and please at the same time, leave a comment as well and tell me what you love, tell me what you want to hear more of.
And if you can do me a massive favor today, please do share this episode with one person at least, and also on your social media. I would be so grateful, thank you. And just tag me @IAmNickBroadhurst and use the hashtag #broadnewworld.
And today, remember, look up, see the beauty around you, see the beauty within you, be gentle with yourself, be love, listen to your intuition because there is always a price to pay if you ignore your intuition. Have a beautiful day. I love you heaps. Ciao.