Today I want to share with you something hat has really helped Melissa and I in our relationship. I believe the greatest journey we can take is only about a foot long… from our head to our heart. Anything that can help us remember to get back into the heart space is absolute gold, because it is not always easy! This means so much to me, and has been so powerful in our lives that I wrote a song about it… Open Wide. I believe what you are about to learn has the power to transform not only yourself, but all your relationships as well.
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Welcome back to Broad New World. I’m your host, Nick Broadhurst. You can catch all of my work, including my music, my music videos, podcasts, blog posts, social media, everything that I do at www.broadhurst.world, and you can hear my music everywhere you listen to music, including Spotify which you can catch at broadhurst.world/spotify.
That song that you were listening to is my latest single called Open Wide, which you can hear at broadhurst.world/openwide. That song is actually incredibly relevant to today’s episode. In fact, that song is actually based on what I’m going to share with you today. I want to share with you something which has really helped Melissa and I in our relationship, and this doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. It applies to all relationships. And not just relationships; actually, pretty much all situations as well.
Some of the lyrics from my song, Open Wide, are “He said, ‘How does it feel when you open wide?’ She said, ‘What do you see when you look inside?’” These lyrics actually came from what I’m going to be sharing with you today, and it’s something which I just spoke about during the Open Wide Tour over the past few weeks.
This show is kind of like a real live musical where we mixed music with very candid discussions about our lives together, and the challenges that we face. And while we wanted it to be a beautiful, uplifting experience that took the audience into their heart space back to the middle, we also wanted to give some actionable takeaways that the audience could use.
And after the show, we did a meet and greet with everyone, which was so amazing. It was so beautiful. And every night, we had hundreds and hundreds of people line up and chat with us one by one, and the question that we asked every single person was, “What did you get out of the show? What did you learn and what resonated most?” And the most common answer was that nothing good comes from closing. This is going to be the title of this episode, “Nothing good comes from closing”.
So, what does that mean? This is a personal mantra that Melissa and I use to remind ourselves every single day to stay open, especially in those moments when all you want to do is close and shut down, and it’s got to be simple, right? This is one of the few things that I have implemented into my life that I remember to do. I remember to use it because it’s easy.
Well, let me rephrase that. It’s simple to remember, not always easy to do. Being in relationship with a love one means that it often takes one person to yield first. One person who stays open. And here’s the thing, there’s a catch to this. When your partner is closing down, all you want to do is close down as well, usually. This is the work of being in relationship. This is the golden opportunity of your own growth.
I’ll give you an example, and this is actually from a few nights ago, just before we jumped on a plane to Adelaide the following morning. It was a Sunday night, we were in bed, and we were really tired, and we’d been away from each other a bit and had finally come back together, but we were both pretty grumpy. We were trying to get ready for the remaining shows, and we knew we had to get up at 4am to get to the airport on time for the remaining shows.
And I hadn’t given Melissa a lot of attention that day. I was really just trying to get everything organized for the shows, and then when we get into bed, Melissa basically rolls over, turns her back to me, and says under her breath, pretty much, “I feel like you don’t care about me.” Now of course, she’s my wife, of course I care about her, but the feminine in this moment just wanted to be held.
Instantly, I was like, “Are you serious, babe? I’ve been so busy today. Blah blah blah.” Insert multiple excuses. I did start to try and justify my own actions and I could have taken that all the way, and just kept justifying that I was right, I was right, I was right. But in my head I started to hear things like, “Man, why is she so emotional? She’s seriously crazy.” These things that happen when you are tired and you yourself are closed down.
Then I remembered, someone is going to have to yield, and in this case, it’s going to have to be me. So I said to her, “Baby, you’re right. I didn’t show up for you today. But now, we have this moment together. Let’s make the most of it. And remember, baby, nothing good comes from closing.”
This statement is so powerful because we both know what it means and we both know there’s no escaping it; when someone says it, we know where this is headed. So, I could have rolled over, and I could have said, “Yeah, whatever. You’re crazy.” But the feminine can really hold on to stuff, and I didn’t want to drag this on, so I took a few deep breaths, I opened, and after about an hour, it took a while, Melissa finally yielded, and then we made love, and everything was amazing again.
But you see, this could have become a really long, big, drawn-out affair. I’m sure you can relate to this. But thank god I yielded because we were going into an intense period of touring and doing shows and the last thing we needed was to have a lack of unity between us, so I knew that I had to yield in this moment.
And in my lyrics, “How does it feel when you open wide,” it feels expansive. “How does it feel when you’re closed?” It feels contracted. And this applies to so many situations, and you can tell very quickly, just by tuning in to how you’re feeling; are you closed, contracted? Or are you open, expansive?
And that’s the challenge. The challenge is to tune in to the moment and recognize that you’re closed and then open up. I often do this by just taking a few deep breaths, just take a moment to reset, and then telling myself that nothing good comes from closing. The minute that I remember that mantra, I know that I’m back on track. Then I just take action that is aligned with me being open in that open state and not in a closed state.
So today, my little challenge for you is to tune in, and I really encourage you to write this mantra down. We’ve got these special sort of crayons that you can write on glass and in our bathrooms and sometimes on our windows we write, Nothing good comes from closing,” because there are so many opportunities every single day to close, and so many opportunities every single day to open.
And this, my friends, is where the growth is. The growth lies in those moments where you take that action, where you stay open. Because our challenge on Earth is to not live in the head, but to live in the heart, and I believe that this is one of the fastest ways, it’s like a hack for living in the heart space.
And that is really my mission. My mission is to inspire people and give people the tools to live from the heart, and my main tool is my music. But if I can share little things like this that work for us, then hopefully, it will make your life a bit easier, and work for you as well.
So, please do write this mantra down, “Nothing good comes from closing,” and the next time you feel yourself closing, because I can pretty much guarantee it might happen today at some point and it could just be a taxi driver being rude to you, or it could be someone cutting you off in traffic or the food taking way too long to come out at a restaurant; whatever it is, remember nothing good comes from closing.
So, I hope you enjoyed that. This is episode 29. You can get all of the show notes at broadhurst.world/29 and you can get a full transcript of the show if you prefer to read this. And if you have a loved one who you think would benefit from this, maybe your romantic partner, please do hit the share button and send it to them now, because this is simple simple stuff to remember, but sometimes very challenging to implement.
But I would love it if you could share this with someone that you love, and if you get a chance, please head into iTunes and leave me a five star review with a comment so I can hear what it is that you love about this podcast and what you want to hear more of as well.
Thank you again so much for being here, and just remember, don’t forget to look around today. Look at the sky. Look at the trees, the clouds. Look at yourself. Look at your loved ones, and just remember how blessed we all are to live the life that we live in this day and age. Life is so amazing. It’s incredible. So look up. See the beauty around you. Be love. Be kind to yourself, and have a beautiful day. I love you heaps. Ciao.