Whenever I mention that male ejaculation and orgasm are two very different things, and don’t have to happen together, the usual response is total disbelief. In this episode we are going to discuss how I turned from having little control over this area of my body, and transforming into what I call a ‘conscious ejaculator’. And as you will see, this is about so much more than making love; it’s about making a life as an empowered masculine with his life force used as a powerful tool of alchemy.
My story is, I believe, probably quite common amongst men and young men all over the world. Apart from some vague mentions of masturbation in PD at school, I was never taught about this part of my body. But, how can this be? How can the very thing that co-creates life be left out of boys lives?
If we can empower our young men to harness their innate power and strength, and direct that energy towards creating the life they were born to live, as opposed to hiding away and developing an unhealthy obsession with one of the quickest ways to leak out their creative energy, masturbation,… what world could we create?
It may seem like a bold leap to say that non-ejaculation can change the world, but if we want more we have to first be more. So for me, this has been my story. I wanted to live a life of passion and purpose, and it all changed for me when I changed this one thing. Of course, there were precursors to this, such as learning Vedic meditation, but this side effect of waking up, of becoming a conscious ejaculator, has truly been a force of alchemy in my life.
Recently someone wrote to me and said, “it’s easy for you Broadhurst, I mean not all of us can do what you do. We haven’t all had the time to become Taoist masters.” I had to laugh when I read this, because my friend, I am no Taoist master. I just chose to stop giving my power away to mental fantasies, and channel that energy into finally creating a life I knew I was born to live. And if you are wondering what Taoism is, spelled TAOISM, in a nutshell, it is one of the two great indigenous philosophical traditions of China along with Confucianism.
So, male anatomy 101; when you are making love and are about to ejaculate, note I did not say orgasm, sperm moves through from the testicles up the vas deferens tube to the prostate. Fluid from the testes and prostate mix together to create the total amount of ejaculatory fluid. The prostate is a gland located just behind the pubic bone and just above the perineum and also known as the male G Spot. There are orgasms stimulated by the penis, and orgasms stimulated by the prostate… they are very different to each other, and I will discuss the prostate orgasm more in another episode, but for now, let’s work on mastering your ejaculation.
In our bodies, we have two main channels of energy, the front channel and the back channel. Rather than go into depth about how these channels work, I just want you to visualise how these work… because this is very important and will make it easier for you to practice during lovemaking…. The back channel runs from your perineum, up your spine to the crown of your head, down the forehead to the top of your lip. The front channel runs from the tip of your tongue, down your throat, down the front of your body, over your pubic bone to your perineum. Now, can you see how this creates a circle around your body? Hold that image in your mind because we are now going to use it to master your urge to ejaculate.
We are going to practice right now an ancient Taoist practice which is really very simple… what we want to do is circulate the sexual energy from our testicles and move it up, away from our sexual centre and circulate it around the body. This is eventually how you will experience multiple male whole body orgasms, without ejaculation.
When we ejaculate, in Taoist traditions it is described as the equivalent in energy release to the amount of energy in 6 litres of blood…. No wonder men get sleepy!
Step 1, is to make a conscious choice before making love, whether or not you are going to ejaculate. When a woman knows she can make you ejaculate, she knows she can control you. It’s subtle, but it’s real. Being able to control your sexual energy sends a message to the universe that you are in control of your energy and your life.
Step 2 is finding your pelvic floor, or PC muscle. You know when you are urinating, you can control the flow by squeezing a certain muscle? There you have it… you are a Taoist master! You already have some control over this, now it’s time to take it into the bedroom. Actually, before we go there, I will say that as a powerful practice of incidental exercise, we are all going to wee every day, so now when you do, practice standing on your tiptoes while you wee, and stop starting the flow about 5-6 times. Doing this multiple times a day will give you a strong pelvic floor. To stop the flow you breathe in and squeeze the PC muscle, then to start it again you forcefully push the urine out. Simple hey? The PC and anus act as a pump that move the energy away from your sexual centre up to your head.
Step 3 is about breathing. It is the breath in combination with the pelvic floor which creates the magic and allows you to master non-ejaculation. Practice this now…. Contract your pelvic floor and anus, and breath out. While you are doing this, visualise the energy moving from your balls up your spine to the top of your head, and then on your inhalation, visualise the energy circulating back down the front of your body. When you feel yourself in lovemaking getting very aroused and like you may lose control, you can just signal to your partner that you need a moment to breath…. Do this simple exercise and see the energy mover up and out, around your body. Do this or as long as you need for the energy to have dissipated throughout your body. But be careful not to do too much because you can quickly lose your erection. It’s a fine line which you will master with practice.
If you don’t have a partner, simply practice this while you are pleasuring yourself. If you can go 10 min on your own while controlling this, you are well on your way to becoming one hell of a lover.
I would love to hear from you, so please tag me @IAmNickBroadhurst on social media, and use the hashtag #broadnewworld, or leave me a comment below (I read every single one!). And if you could take a minute to leave me a review (5 stars would be epic, but whatever feels true for you) on iTunes I would be very grateful. Tell me what you want more of! I am at your service.
P.S. Always listen to your intuition (and your doctor or practitioner) before trying any new health practice.